If you happen to find and notice this notice then note this
that its already too late for me
its too late because death could not wait you see
there was far too much of me living casually
in a blas’e blas’e state
blowing through the doldrums of a loveless ,prayerless faith
blowing through the doldrums of a loveless ,prayerless faith
so I had to take stock and evaluate the situation and concluded
that death simply had to place.
This is officially my suicide letter.
death to pride letter.
There is no other alternative and no other alternative is better.
So I had to have to die.
don’t ask me why .
If you find this disturbing…..
so did I….. but the Son of Man
is coming for a spotless bride
and for her had given his life and thought
death-nothing compared to the joy of having her by his side.
He asked that I partake of Him and be apart of her
but at first I tried to like halfheartedly live this somewhat in-in theory
Largely out in actuality
I tried to avoid the finality
of killing carnality
the definiteness -like john the baptist-when he said-
“HE must increase ,I must decrease”
The absoluteness of being DECEASED
Of no longer I but Christ arise
my mouth saying yes LOrd but my heart far from HIM lies.
L-I-E-S
Denying Him instead of denying me
like hiding who I love in front of mixed company
comfy me
asleep in the culture’s comfort
but the Comforter was merciful enough to convict and show
that the time for wholeheartedness was now or never
so……
I had to decide
the urgency of the hour
wouldn’t let me hide
sit idly by
and delay my decision
which is why
I write this to you
Should you happen upon this just know
I should have been dead a long time ago
Jesus said
“IF ANY MAN desires TO FOLLOW ME ,HE MUST DENY HIMSELF TAKE UP HIS CROSS AND FOLLOW”
JESUS was not simply implying what he THOUGHT would be merely a good idea
no subtle suggestions here
Rather he was stating what simply must occur
and if dying to self was suitable for him,his disciples ,apostles, followers and faithful saints all across the globe
than its suitable for me also
So with one shallow breath
I leapt from the cleft
of causality
yes I embraced this fatality
there is a war happening
truth vs hypocrisy
and on truth’s side
I’ve resigned myself to become a casualty
I’m in love with Jesus-hopelessly
Let it be known
I chose to back the car of my heart
into an enclosed room before the throne
of the matchless bridegroom -SO
IT COULDN’T GO NOWHERE
THAT IT WOLD BE FILLED WITH THE FUMES OF DYING FLESH
but my spirit is now in tune with the rhythms of his heart
NO REGRETS
knowing HIM’S THE BEST
singing hymns with my spirit
only death will take me near it
and requires me to live fearless
fearing the Living God only
GOING INTO
the watered-down first love fires quenched cavities of my being
He resurrected my need for intimacy
and love
I took the intoxicating drug of HIS presence
addicted to HIS presence
Now I must live in LOVE WITH HIM INTRAVENOUSLY
LIKE INSULIN TO A DIABETIC
removing all things apathetic
SO don’t try to resurrect and resuscitate
my flesh loving heart rate
I need No medic
I won’t try to debate.My fate is final. I forsake the world.
satiating carnality has no appeal to me.
Like Psalms 27:4 there is only one thing I desire. need.
AND WITH THAT ,I say to you goodbye.
and as for everything else that myself dictates
I SIMPLY
HAVE TO DIE.
kgkwood 